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[10 Jun 2004|01:15pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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husker du - celebrated summer |
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Ocean City. Oh my. I have a few things to say about this town. In my seventeen years, I've learned a few lessons concerning this beachside escape from Baltimore. Since I have guys on my mind (how unusual, right?), I'll share a couple that deal with them.
1.) Ocean City automatically turns guys into dicks. Even the most normal, gentlemanly gentlemen turn into complete assholes the second they step onto Coastal Highway. They lose all sense of awareness as to what is not completely idiotic. A guy tried pissing from the balcony above mine this weekend. He fell off face-first and died. DIED. No sense! Guys you know from home will not give you the same respect. In fact, the meaning of the word respect leaves the vocabularly of every person with a penis. Also, the term "self-control". Guys will fight with any other guy who happens to fall into their line of vision, even if this fight will subsequently KNOCK A GIRL OVER. They will not check to see if a girl is with her BOYFRIEND before trying to grab her ass. Which leads me to lesson 2...
2.) After being screamed at by random guys 4 times within one 15 minute period, it's considered rape. Again, with the no respect. Even boys in pink polo shirts (PINK POLO SHIRTS) think they're Colin Farrell and start screaming at you from any location (inside cars, bus stops, across the beach, boardwalk, a restaurant, etc.) about how hot you are. Flattering? No. Amusing? Only at their expense. Makes us want to go have sex with them? Not in a million years.
But I still love it, and I'm going back at the end of the month.
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[03 Jun 2004|10:17pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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dandy warhols - we used to be friends |
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Last Cigarette: like a half hour ago
Last Kiss: this afternoon
Last Cry: whenever I was PMSing last
Last Library Book Checked Out: A Tale of Two Cities
Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: Godsend
Last Scary Movie Seen: Jeepers Creepers 2
Last Book Read: Far From the Madding Crowd (kinda)
Last Cuss Word Uttered: bitches
Last Beverage Drank: iced tea
Last Food Consumed: shrimp scampi
Last Phone Call: allie
Last TV Show Watched: Newsnight
Last Time Showered: this morning
Last Shoes Worn: pink and white DCs
Last CD Played: O.C. Soundtrack
Last Soda Drank: Sprite
Last Thing Written: "Happy Birthday to Meeee"
Last Key Used: enter
Last Words Spoken: "call me tomorrow bitches"
Last Slept: last night
Last IM: Vince
Last Ice Cream Eaten: does a Freezer Pop count? if so, this morning
Last Time Wanting to Die: lol hmm i kinda enjoy living...
Last Lipstick: that Covergirl stuff i got for free
Last Time Dancing: at Prom
Last Show Attended: HFStival
Last Big Car Ride: to and from HFSTival
Last thing you smelled: my Big Red gum
Last Annoyance: my mosquito bites
Last Time Scolded: probably yesterday
Last Shirt Worn: the beige lace one
Last Web Site Visited: my friends page
that made your heart skip a beat: this afternoon ;)
Last movie you watched: Clerks
Watch it with anyone?: Ashley and Jess
Last time you went to the mall: maybe a month ago
Last person you missed: oh it's a secret
Last CD you bought: i can't even remember
Last beautiful thing you saw: the moon (it's orange tonight!)
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| Give me back my fucking necklace. |
[29 May 2004|12:47am] |
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mood |
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 sleepy |
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music |
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outkast - roses |
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Pre-Calc was a horrible failure. Government and Spanish were easy as strawberry shortcake. Chemistry will make us cry.
I wanna take this time to say I absolutely love my girlfriends with all my heart. Especially, but not exclusively, Jennifer Dunkes and Allison Schott (blame Jen for the following overly-sentimental monologue, she brought it up in the car tonight). They've been there for me through literally everything, good and bad, since as long as I can remember. I realized that they're the only people outside of my family who've unconditionally loved me and looked out for me, and never tried to do anything shady or hurtful. With all the uncertainties of the guys in our lives, I'm glad we have each other, because it's the thing that will always be there when we need something to hold onto. Most of the great times I've had in high school have been with you two, and during the bad times, you were always by my side (Jen - "She just broke up with Jon." Allie - "Bring her over here so we can get trashed and cheer her up!!!"). The amount of car rides and long conversations with Jen throughout December alone shows what a good friend she is. This summer and our senior year are gonna be filled with "aye shortays" and nights we don't entirely remember, except that we never stopped laughing. Everyone takes a lot of important things for granted, but I just want you guys to know that I <3 you.
I'm gonna go to bed. So I can give out pieces of fruit at Safeway all day. Visit!
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[25 May 2004|01:14pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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south - paint the silence |
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It's officially almost-summer! Today was our last day of classes, and I actually turned in all my work, and still had time for some milk and cookies, and a few rousing games of Handuno, Mafia, and Up Jenkins. I'll miss my frees so much :(
The cicada noise is slowly but surely driving me insane.
In the past few days, I have squashed cicadas on various windshields, had a few thrown at my face, nearly sat on one, and ran like hell from 10 of them with Sara, Steph, and Michelle. I don't like this.
I love exam week, especially now that I only have 4 exams, and I have off tomorrow. Tomorrow will be full of rest and relaxation... or maybe not. But even so, summer is fabulous.
I need a new job. Any ideas?
It turns out that Sense and Sensibility is a good movie.
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[23 May 2004|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
What a beautiful dream
That could flash on the screen
In a blink of an eye and be gone from me
Soft and sweet
Let me hold it close and keep it here with me
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me
Anna's ghost all around
Hear her voice as it's rolling and ringing through me
Soft and sweet
How the notes all bend and reach above the trees
Now how I remember you
How I would push my fingers through
Your mouth to make those muscles move
That made your voice so smooth and sweet
And now we keep where we don't know
All secrets sleep in winter clothes
With one you loved so long ago
Now he don't even know his name
What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun
And when we meet on a cloud
I'll be laughing out loud
I'll be laughing with everyone I see
Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all
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[17 May 2004|08:42pm] |
This is the moment that you know
That you told her that you loved her, but you don't
You touch her skin and then you think
That she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she is beautiful, but she don't mean a thing to me
I spent two weeks in Silverlake
The California sun cascading down my face
There was a girl with light brown streaks
And she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me
Yeah, she was beautiful, but she didn't mean a thing to me
I wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking
As we moved together in the dark
And all the friends that I was telling
And all the playful misspellings
And every bite I gave you left a mark
Tiny vessels oozed into your neck
And formed the bruises
That you said you didn't want to fade
But they did and so did I that day
All I see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
I think "you're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now.
no, we can't talk about it now."
So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me
Yeah, you are beautiful
But you don't mean a thing to me
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[09 May 2004|08:41pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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south - paint the silence |
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1) Name 5 songs that you can‘t help singing along to:
le tigre - deceptacon
saves the day - shoulder to the wheel
usher - burn
neutral milk hotel - holland 1945
jem - just a ride
2) Name 5 songs that make you laugh:
jay's chant (lmao jen n allie)
d12 - my band
sublime - date rape
sublime - caress me down
john denver - thank god i'm a country boy
3) Name 5 songs that make you sad/thoughtful:
liz phair - go on ahead
hole - asking for it
death cab for cutie - tiny vessels
incubus - 11am
taking back sunday - your own disaster
4) Name 5 songs you listen to when you’re angry:
hole - asking for it
hole - violet
bikini kill - anti-pleasure dissertation
bikini kill - demirep
saves the day - rocks tonic juice magic
5) Name 5 songs you would consider to be “your” songs:
le tigre - eau d'bedroom dancing
fiona apple - paper bag
hole - doll eyes
incubus - nowhere fast
bikini kill - i like fucking
6) Quote your favourite line from 5 songs you listened to today:
"maybe she's just pieces of me you've never seen" - tori amos, tear in your hand
"just because you just don't feel like coming home / don't mean that you'll never arrive" - jet, move on
"pain comes in stages / if we don't make it / nothing changes" - south, paint the silence
"blink and you miss a beat / keep one of your eyes open at all times / think you're on the brink / the shit hasn't even begun to hit the fan" - incubus, consequence
"it may feel so real inside / but don't forget / it's just a ride" - jem, just a ride
7) Name 15 albums in your CD collection that mean the most to you:
Hole - Live Through This
Incubus - Make Yourself
Bikini Kill - The Singles
Smashing Pumpkins - Greatest Hits
Pixies - Surfer Rosa
Pixies - Doolittle
Blink 182 - Self-titled
Death Cab for Cutie - Transatlanticism
Sixpence None the Richer - Self-titled
Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
Pearl Jam - Ten
Dawson's Creek Soundtrack Volume 1 (shut up)
The OC: Mix One
Blink 182 - Enema of the State
8) Lastly recommend 5 bands you adore along with the song you feel is one of their best:
Incubus - Consequence
South - Paint the Silence
Bikini Kill - I Like Fucking
Saves the Day - Rocks Tonic Juice Magic
Pixies - Dead
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[01 May 2004|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 anxious |
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music |
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new found glory - understatement |
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We won Field Day, thank God. At least all those practices till 8 every night paid off. Also, Prom happened, and it was actually fun. We all looked absolutely gorgeous. The fact that Prom's over made me realize several things:
1.) It's almost the end of my junior year.
2.) I'm going to be a senior.
3.) I'm going to be 17.
4.) I'm gonna apply to colleges in a few months.
5.) I'm going to college.
These things give me a massive anxiety attack. I don't want to leave. I mean, I do, because I'm 16 and I have to hate everything about Maryland because that's what we do. But still, it's not that bad here and one day I'm actually gonna miss Towson, 99.1, the 92Q club mixes I learned to love, MERCY (yeah), parties where we get trashed for no apparent reason, and even weekends with nothing to do but go to White Marsh and Rosedale. The thing that's scary is that that day is coming sooner than I thought. I'm sure I'll be sad about this again in like a year so I won't say anything more now.
So I will just look forward to this late spring/summer, which includes:
1.) HFStival.
2.) OC with my favorite girls in the world.
3.) Cicadas.
4.) More blue plastic grocery bags than I can count.
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[16 Apr 2004|11:31pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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incubus - 11am |
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I know I had this realization before, and I guess I just forgot for a little while. But I realized that it's sooo much better to be friends with someone than to get into a relationship with them, for many reasons I don't feel like discussing. So now I'm re-laxed and really happy that I can stop trying to impress him(s) and chill, and things will actually be better.
School is almost over.
I watched Super Troopers for the first time in a looong time. Cinematic brilliance.
<3
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[15 Apr 2004|10:58pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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music |
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alice in chains - got me wrong |
] |
Well, I'm really confused. About everything. I need to get a life outside of the few impossible guys I allow myself to know.
Love ya
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| she only drinks coffee at midnight... her timing is quite unusual |
[13 Apr 2004|09:17pm] |
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mood |
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love sick |
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music |
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train - meet virginia |
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1. grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. write down what it says. "sexual scrapheaps conspire to make you feel stupid, no matter how much time"
2. stretch your left arm out as far as you can. what do you touch first? my trash can
3. what is the last thing you watched on tv? showbiz moms & dads
4. WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is. 9:27
5. now look at the clock, what is the actual time? 9:24!
6. with the exception of the computer, what can you hear? "she's beautiful... smokes a pack a day, oh wait, that's me, but anyway... she doesn't care a thing about that... she thinks I'm beautiful"
7. when did you last step outside? what were you doing? getting out of jen's car after tanning and quizno's
8. before you came to this website, what did you look at? my email
9. what are you wearing? jeans, day-glo-pink sweater, duck socks
10. did you dream last night? yes, but i barely remember
11. when did you last laugh? when jen ran off the road on rossville blvd
12. what is on the walls of the room you are in? a thing with my name on it that my dad gave me one year, a crucifix, a poem I like, old pictures of my family and me and Jenna.
13. seen anything weird lately? A lady who said she took baths with her rabbit. I didn't actually see the bath, but the mental image was pretty weird.
14. what do you think of this quiz? absolutely fabulous
15. what is the last film you saw? texas chainsaw massacre (the new one)
16. if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first? the Motor Vehicle Association
17. tell me something about you that I don't know. I'm not a whore.
18. if you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? being stupid should increasingly be painful if you do not do something about it. (lmao i'm so stealing that meg)
19. do you like to dance? absolutely. i need to start again.
20. george bush: is he a power-crazy nut case or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years? somewhere in between
21. imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? eleanor, delilah, or lolita
22. imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? christian, toby, or atticus (yeah.)
23. would you ever consider living abroad? depends on where it is. definately not canada. or anywhere in asia.
24. what's your favorite lyric at the moment? i think you're the least fucked up person i've ever met / and that may be as close to the real thing / as i'm ever gonna get -ani difranco
25. any regrets? I used to regret one thing, but I think I'm over being mad and just appreciate it as a good memory. So no, I don't have any real regrets. :)
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[30 Mar 2004|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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productive |
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music |
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weezer - undone |
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It's really strange the way things work out.
The one person I thought I hated turns out to be the guy who told me the only thing that's made sense in a while. He told me not to let what happened in the past ruin any possible future. He told me to stop being afraid of relationships just because I was hurt once. It's simple, but I never really thought about it before now. And he's completely right. I have been afraid, even though I don't like admitting it. And I don't know why I let someone who so wasn't worth it get to me. The one person I thought could rely on turned out to be the worst person I could have ever entrusted with anything. I don't know if it's just because he has a weak character, or he just didn't care about me. And it doesn't really matter.
It's amazing how wrong I was about those two. I feel really guilty for hating one, and really stupid for loving the other one. But hey, my instincts have always been horribly inaccurate. So now I just know to do the opposite of whatever I think is right?
Oh yeah, and we're not on strike. So go guy food and visit me. :)
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| If I see another blue plastic grocery bag, I'm gonna throw up. |
[28 Mar 2004|08:20pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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sonic youth - 100 percent |
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Well I've been working a lot. This could all change after Tuesday if Safeway decides to strike. I almost want them to, because I need a break, and I heard something about hotdogs on the picket line. If anyone needs a job, wait for the strike to blow over, and then come apply! You'll definately get hired. I'm lonely sometimes, just bagging and bagging and bagging and bagging... So yeah, get a job there. Jenny. And everyone else I like.
Oh, so I'm in middle-school-love, and it's excellent.
Love You, Vanessa
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[24 Mar 2004|02:50pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
] |
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music |
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madonna - like a virgin |
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Today is my prom dress deadline, but I still haven't gotten around to it. It's gonna be either pink/black or white. I didn't go to school today because apparently I have bad allergies now. I'm missing massive amounts of Field Day practices, but that = money from Safeway so it's ok. I'm getting my license Saturday (!) and a car soon after, hopefully. I think I'm gonna cut my hair. Give me suggestions. Jenny, go to Safeway Friday or Saturday night, both of which I'm working, so we can hang out. haha.
Love you, Vanessa
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[16 Mar 2004|05:16pm] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
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music |
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the yeah yeah yeahs - maps |
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Bold the ones that apply to you.
I'VE NEVER BEEN DRUNK
I'VE NEVER SMOKED POT
I'VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
I'VE NEVER KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
I'VE NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN tee hee.
I'VE NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
I'VE NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN LOVE
I'VE NEVER HAD SEX
I'VE NEVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
I'VE NEVER BEEN DUMPED
I'VE NEVER SHOPLIFTED
I'VE NEVER BEEN FIRED
I'VE NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
I'VE NEVER HAD A THREESOME
I'VE NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENTS' HOUSE
I'VE NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
I'VE NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
I'VE NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
I'VE NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
I'VE NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
I'VE NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB ...like, a pen
I'VE NEVER CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIMES SQUARE
I'VE NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
I'VE NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
I'VE NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
I'VE NEVER CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
I'VE NEVER BEEN TO EUROPE
I'VE NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
I'VE NEVER SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
I'VE NEVER CALLED A PHONE SEX LINE
I'VE NEVER HAD SEX WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX
I like, haven't lived.
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[07 Mar 2004|07:40pm] |
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mood |
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exhausted |
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music |
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tori amos - cruel |
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Well, I did my service hours this weekend. Definately the easiest possible way out. I got 17 hours done, mostly by sleeping and doing nothing with Jess. I absolutely adore Jess now, by the way. Two more weekends and I'm done. I spent the very nice day downtown. It was... very nice. Field Day has started. Bah. I have an interview tomorrow for Safeway, so maybe I won't be broke anymore! I went to a college fair Friday during school. It was an experience. Jenny, call me. I still have your present. I'm tired and incoherent, bye.
<3
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[23 Feb 2004|05:09pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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built to spill - joyride |
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OK, so my research paper is not complete. Not even half, or even one fourth complete. But I'm a superhero and will finish it before first period tomorrow. I'm seriously turning in my Safeway application this week, because I need money for various things, including car insurance, food, sodas, donations to poor people in Latin America (I watched a guilt trip video in Social Responsibility and now I'm determined to raise $1500 to build a house for someone in Haiti), and Prom. Ohhh, Prom. I really don't even want to go anymore, because it's just way too much money. The two dresses I want are $150 and $200, the limo is $160, and I still haven't bought my ticket. And I don't have a date yet. I know it's early, but I have like no prospects. Ok, I actually have like 3. But I want them to ask me. Which is impossible, because it's my prom, not theirs, so why would they ask me to a prom that isn't theirs? But of course I don't care and I'm gonna wait until one of them asks me anyway. I really need to finish my paper, and I've procrastinated for 2 hours already, so I'll go.
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| "I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel." |
[22 Feb 2004|01:41pm] |
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mood |
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accomplished |
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music |
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holly golightly - any way you like it |
] |
Oh my god, I really feel like watching Pee Wee's Big Adventure.
Did you guys know that Daffy Duck was a black guy? Just, like, in the form of a duck? God I love VH1.
I am not a bitch just because I don't want a serious relationship, dick.
I'm working on my research paper right now. It's never as bad as I think it's gonna be, but I just procrastinate too much. I plan to finish today. Does anyone know what newspaper our current events should be from for this week?
Well, I'm finally getting my license on March 27th. I still can't decide what kind of car I should get, and I need to decide in like, 2 weeks. Please please please give me suggestions, because I'm clueless!
"I don't think of Big Bird in terms of race. I think of him in terms of sexual orientation."
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[16 Feb 2004|08:33pm] |
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I think everyone gets thinner Junior year.
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[16 Feb 2004|08:26pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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white stripes - the air near my fingers |
] |
Wow. I sucked a whole lot the first day skiing, and I have the 47 bruises to show for it. After that, I was a semi-pro. Snowboarders are really hot, one kid, whom I affectionately called Crazy Hair (and Jen called Justin Guarini) in particular. Kids are really really annoying, and I don't think I'm having any. I came home to find out that my mother got engaged, and I'm the last to know because Nextel sucks and doesn't work any further than Towson. I'm actually really excited. I'm the maid of honor. Hehe. This weekend was absolutely exhilarting, and I'm trying to ride out this good feeling. Even though it's almost being ruined by moody people. Really guys, cheer up. It's not that bad. My entire body is aching, so I'm gonna go eat a cheesesteak and then sleep. :)
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